If this beer were a man...
...he would be a friend since childhood. You would hug every time you saw each other, without exchanging an ounce of sexual attraction. He's never come out and said it, but you've known since the first grade that he was batting for the other team, and you're both perfectly comfortable with that silent understanding. You always feel at ease around him, and ever since middle school he's been someone who you could count on for intelligent conversation and a light and fun filled evening. He's clever and witty, with a sarcastic edginess. The number of inside jokes between you is countless, and you'll admit, on more than one occasion he's made you laugh so hard that you peed yourself a little.
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