...he would have a strong presence despite his calm and quiet demeanor . He would be fluent in 3 languages, but able to greet people and ask them about their day in half a dozen more, such that you find him simultaneously fascinating and intimidating. At first, you feel that you should choose your words carefully around him in an attempt to match his ability to articulate (in several different tongues). Self conscious of the fact that you can barely recall how to ask your Venezuelan co-worker how his weekend was (in Spanish), you are terrified of giving the impression that you also haven't entirely grasped the English language. As you get to know him, however, you realize that he finds your tangential conversational style and your often child-like giddiness and enthusiasm charming. Perhaps you are the yin to his yang, the outgoing to his reserved. And this is could be the beginning of a beautiful symbiotic relationship, each of your admiring the qualities that the other has always been embarrassed of, while challenging one another to step outside of that comfort zone.Who knows, maybe in time he will have you speaking Latin, and you will have him dancing like no one is watching whenever a Shakira song comes on over the loud speaker at the grocery store.
Attractions Abrewing: Beers addressed as men and women. Visit - read - drink - but most importantly enjoy. Comments? Questions? Want to give us free beer? Contact us at attractionsabrewing@gmail.com.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Mr. Dogfish Head 90 Minute Imperial IPA
If this beer were a man...
...he would have a strong presence despite his calm and quiet demeanor . He would be fluent in 3 languages, but able to greet people and ask them about their day in half a dozen more, such that you find him simultaneously fascinating and intimidating. At first, you feel that you should choose your words carefully around him in an attempt to match his ability to articulate (in several different tongues). Self conscious of the fact that you can barely recall how to ask your Venezuelan co-worker how his weekend was (in Spanish), you are terrified of giving the impression that you also haven't entirely grasped the English language. As you get to know him, however, you realize that he finds your tangential conversational style and your often child-like giddiness and enthusiasm charming. Perhaps you are the yin to his yang, the outgoing to his reserved. And this is could be the beginning of a beautiful symbiotic relationship, each of your admiring the qualities that the other has always been embarrassed of, while challenging one another to step outside of that comfort zone.Who knows, maybe in time he will have you speaking Latin, and you will have him dancing like no one is watching whenever a Shakira song comes on over the loud speaker at the grocery store.
...he would have a strong presence despite his calm and quiet demeanor . He would be fluent in 3 languages, but able to greet people and ask them about their day in half a dozen more, such that you find him simultaneously fascinating and intimidating. At first, you feel that you should choose your words carefully around him in an attempt to match his ability to articulate (in several different tongues). Self conscious of the fact that you can barely recall how to ask your Venezuelan co-worker how his weekend was (in Spanish), you are terrified of giving the impression that you also haven't entirely grasped the English language. As you get to know him, however, you realize that he finds your tangential conversational style and your often child-like giddiness and enthusiasm charming. Perhaps you are the yin to his yang, the outgoing to his reserved. And this is could be the beginning of a beautiful symbiotic relationship, each of your admiring the qualities that the other has always been embarrassed of, while challenging one another to step outside of that comfort zone.Who knows, maybe in time he will have you speaking Latin, and you will have him dancing like no one is watching whenever a Shakira song comes on over the loud speaker at the grocery store.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Ms. Two Brothers Domaine DuPage French Country Style Ale
If this beer were a woman...
a slight aura of sophistication and girl next door charm beams from her. Without being overwhelming or dominating, she dazzles people with her intellect and keeps people on their toes with witty banter. At times her banter and intellect makes people go "Damn, that girl be one smart cookie. Now I kind of want a cookie." Then shows her childish side when she frolics through the room singing "shake it like a polaroid picture. Hey Ya. Hey Ya" while singing into a hair brush. This makes people go "Damn, that girl is cuckoo for cocoa puffs...or for old school Kodak pictures. I think they made polaroids. Actually, who I am kidding, I don't remember that long ago. Damn, I'm old." This girl makes people rant a bit; hopefully people keep most or all of these thoughts to yourself. Because then they sound like the crazy ones.
To those she truly cares for, despite her country of origin (France) she is no pushover and does not surrender but rather challenges others to be better. Her accent rarely comes out but when it does so it does in a sheepish cute nature. This voice never fails to yield a smile. She's the type of girl who you can seemingly have nothing in common with but everything at the same time. This girl is accepting and appreciative of you differences that leads to life being comfortable without getting dull. Her seemingly contradictory traits and behavior may be difficult to predict, but keeps people coming back for more and more and more. Like the energizer bunny she makes people keep going and going and going until you expire. Who knows if that's death or the duration of your relationship. Time will tell (along with that being a bit of a sadistic comment, o well; that may be another rant to hopefully keep to yourself).
To those she truly cares for, despite her country of origin (France) she is no pushover and does not surrender but rather challenges others to be better. Her accent rarely comes out but when it does so it does in a sheepish cute nature. This voice never fails to yield a smile. She's the type of girl who you can seemingly have nothing in common with but everything at the same time. This girl is accepting and appreciative of you differences that leads to life being comfortable without getting dull. Her seemingly contradictory traits and behavior may be difficult to predict, but keeps people coming back for more and more and more. Like the energizer bunny she makes people keep going and going and going until you expire. Who knows if that's death or the duration of your relationship. Time will tell (along with that being a bit of a sadistic comment, o well; that may be another rant to hopefully keep to yourself).
Mr. Magic Hat Elder Betty
If this beer were a man...
...he'd be a people-pleaser. He would rather be in the group's good graces than put his foot down and make tough decisions, and you cringe at the idea of him overseeing any type of project. As someone who quotes Bambi more than you'd like to admit, and cries at
work at least twice a quarter, you still have more balls than he does when it comes
to taking command of the situation. He's great at telling everyone exactly what they want to hear, but lacks the follow through to make it happen. Remove the pressures of decision-making and delegating, and he suddenly leaves a much sweeter taste in your mouth (with a slightly fruity aftertaste...but that might just be due to the fact that he can unapologetically rock a pair of flared jeans and a dark cabled turtleneck sweater any day of the week). And if that's not enough to sway you, you're certain he supports the responsible application of welfare, affirmative action and universal preschool.
...he'd be a people-pleaser. He would rather be in the group's good graces than put his foot down and make tough decisions, and you cringe at the idea of him overseeing any type of project. As someone who quotes Bambi more than you'd like to admit, and cries at
work at least twice a quarter, you still have more balls than he does when it comes
to taking command of the situation. He's great at telling everyone exactly what they want to hear, but lacks the follow through to make it happen. Remove the pressures of decision-making and delegating, and he suddenly leaves a much sweeter taste in your mouth (with a slightly fruity aftertaste...but that might just be due to the fact that he can unapologetically rock a pair of flared jeans and a dark cabled turtleneck sweater any day of the week). And if that's not enough to sway you, you're certain he supports the responsible application of welfare, affirmative action and universal preschool. Mr. Samuel Adams "Maple Pecan Porter"
If this beer were a man...
...you would enjoy being in his presence, despite your frustration about not being able to peg him right off the bat. He's enigmatic and you have a difficult time compartmentalizing him, as he fits in many different boxes (and it's yet to determine if yours is one of them). He both reinforces and challenges your concept of men from the south. As an avid listening of NPR, he knows a little bit about everything. He's an informational jack of all trades, master of none. He has a leanness that suggests that he is physically stronger than he first
appears, and skin several shades darker than golden, a result of years of landscaping in the sun. And although he wears a sweater, you would bet your beer money that his chenille is concealing a wicked farmer's tan. He's the embodiment of southern comfort, always going out of his way to accommodate others, and the feminist in you dies a little each time you find yourself thinking that you wish he was a little less sweet, and a little more manly.
...you would enjoy being in his presence, despite your frustration about not being able to peg him right off the bat. He's enigmatic and you have a difficult time compartmentalizing him, as he fits in many different boxes (and it's yet to determine if yours is one of them). He both reinforces and challenges your concept of men from the south. As an avid listening of NPR, he knows a little bit about everything. He's an informational jack of all trades, master of none. He has a leanness that suggests that he is physically stronger than he first appears, and skin several shades darker than golden, a result of years of landscaping in the sun. And although he wears a sweater, you would bet your beer money that his chenille is concealing a wicked farmer's tan. He's the embodiment of southern comfort, always going out of his way to accommodate others, and the feminist in you dies a little each time you find yourself thinking that you wish he was a little less sweet, and a little more manly.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Mr. Stone Brewing Company "Arrogant Bastard Ale"
If this beer were a man...
...he would live up to his name, and yet, somehow manage to have a lovable quality to him (well, after a beer or two anyway...). His high energy and dizzying use of four syllable words and professional jargon makes for a harsh first impression. But the more time you spend with him, you realize that although he's not the kind of guy that you want by your side 24/7 (or living in your home), he definitely fills a niche in your life. In fact, you soon find that he becomes one of your favorite late night drinking buddies: he's animated, enthusiastic, willing to sing karaoke at the drop of a hat, and his heavy drinking habits always make you look that much more responsible. Yes, he has more than a few mother issues, and he's not the kind of friend you would aspire to have too far into adulthood. (You've considered adding an addendum to your "Before 30 Bucket List" to kick the habit of bar hopping with him by the time you enter your third decade.) But for right now, he offers a much needed dose of political incorrectness that you need at the end of a long week, and sometimes on a Tuesday night...
...he would live up to his name, and yet, somehow manage to have a lovable quality to him (well, after a beer or two anyway...). His high energy and dizzying use of four syllable words and professional jargon makes for a harsh first impression. But the more time you spend with him, you realize that although he's not the kind of guy that you want by your side 24/7 (or living in your home), he definitely fills a niche in your life. In fact, you soon find that he becomes one of your favorite late night drinking buddies: he's animated, enthusiastic, willing to sing karaoke at the drop of a hat, and his heavy drinking habits always make you look that much more responsible. Yes, he has more than a few mother issues, and he's not the kind of friend you would aspire to have too far into adulthood. (You've considered adding an addendum to your "Before 30 Bucket List" to kick the habit of bar hopping with him by the time you enter your third decade.) But for right now, he offers a much needed dose of political incorrectness that you need at the end of a long week, and sometimes on a Tuesday night...
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Ms. Boulevard Brewing "80-Acre Hoppy Wheat Beer"
If this beer were a woman...
this sorta women is unique and rare. She has the rugged side that you would expect out of a cowgirl... assuming cowgirls do still exist outside of those old Western movies, which are seemingly no longer made. Somehow she both dotes after you while at the same time holding you accountable for carrying your weight in the relationship and life in general. She's the kind of girl that enjoys a good hay ride on the tractor around Halloween time while at the same time heading out and enjoying a shot of whiskey and maybe even rolling around in the hay if you're lucky. She has a cute girl next door vibe that is exemplified by her playful tomboyish nature demonstrated by her enjoyment in shoving you off the dock into that nearby lake. You enjoy wrestling with her in the dirt and realize you can be both a kid and an adult with her at the same time, making her the perfect blend of childishness and maturity. This allows you to enjoy every stage of life...she is
the type of a women you can begin and end a life with. But although she appreciates hearing that from you, she certainly cannot help herself from giving you a good rib for telling her that.
the type of a women you can begin and end a life with. But although she appreciates hearing that from you, she certainly cannot help herself from giving you a good rib for telling her that.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Mr. Kona "Koko Brown"
If this beer were a man..
...you would meet him on a tropical vacation. He would be native to the area, and given that English is not his first language, he could get away with saying sweet and borderline sappy lines that his American counterparts would never dare to try on you. At the sight of him, your breath would get caught in your chest, sending a tingling through your core. As his leg brushed against yours under the table at dinner, you'd easily become drunk on his alluring nature, quickly throwing your "no sex before love" rule to the wind. Waking up in his perfectly tanned embrace, you wouldn't have a single regret about breaking your own rules (so much so that you'd break them again, twice, before breakfast). At the end of the week, as you prepare to depart and return to the real world, you are sure to steal one lass kiss, passionate enough to make anyone within a one-hundred yard radius b
lush wildly as they are unable to look away. But parting is not such sweet sorrow, as you are not the kind of girl who can tolerate a man doting over you incessantly for more than one romanticized week in the islands at a time.
...you would meet him on a tropical vacation. He would be native to the area, and given that English is not his first language, he could get away with saying sweet and borderline sappy lines that his American counterparts would never dare to try on you. At the sight of him, your breath would get caught in your chest, sending a tingling through your core. As his leg brushed against yours under the table at dinner, you'd easily become drunk on his alluring nature, quickly throwing your "no sex before love" rule to the wind. Waking up in his perfectly tanned embrace, you wouldn't have a single regret about breaking your own rules (so much so that you'd break them again, twice, before breakfast). At the end of the week, as you prepare to depart and return to the real world, you are sure to steal one lass kiss, passionate enough to make anyone within a one-hundred yard radius blush wildly as they are unable to look away. But parting is not such sweet sorrow, as you are not the kind of girl who can tolerate a man doting over you incessantly for more than one romanticized week in the islands at a time.
Mr. 21st Amendment "Brew Free! Or Die IPA"
If this beer were a man...
...he would bring you a beautiful bunch of wildflowers on your first date, because he knows it's the romantic thing to do, but after that, he'd barely remember a gift on your birthday, never mind gifts without occasion. And by the time you discover that the initial bouquet was picked from his mother's garden, you are too entranced by his physical prowess to give a damn. You often find yourself day dreaming about his shoulders, biceps, chest....hell, even his triceps turn you on; and on more than one occasion you've embraced the opportunity to lick them. He can lift and maneuver your body with swiftness and ease, suddenly making you realize that you desire a man strong enough to throw you across the room, but sane enough not to try. He often wakes up much earlier than you in the morning, and you force your eyes to flutter open long enough to watch him pull on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, not wanting to miss a single chance to gaze upon the perfection of his silhouette, knowing that you will have a finite number of opportunities. After all, you are the kind of girl who needs a boy to bring her flowers...
...he would bring you a beautiful bunch of wildflowers on your first date, because he knows it's the romantic thing to do, but after that, he'd barely remember a gift on your birthday, never mind gifts without occasion. And by the time you discover that the initial bouquet was picked from his mother's garden, you are too entranced by his physical prowess to give a damn. You often find yourself day dreaming about his shoulders, biceps, chest....hell, even his triceps turn you on; and on more than one occasion you've embraced the opportunity to lick them. He can lift and maneuver your body with swiftness and ease, suddenly making you realize that you desire a man strong enough to throw you across the room, but sane enough not to try. He often wakes up much earlier than you in the morning, and you force your eyes to flutter open long enough to watch him pull on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, not wanting to miss a single chance to gaze upon the perfection of his silhouette, knowing that you will have a finite number of opportunities. After all, you are the kind of girl who needs a boy to bring her flowers...Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Ms. "Tecate" Cerveza
If this beer were a woman...
she would have a slight albeit cute bitterness to her aura. Like she has a decent sized chip on her shoulder, but this by no means drives her to work hard at her profession or party hardy. At the same time, this not a leading to exciting rash actions or being a bit nutty in a fun way, so no fun craziness. At first you think this is a reflection that she is accepting of her nature and well failure in life, but then you realize she's happy with her life despite the fact that it is not that exciting of one; she certainly doesn't get your motor revving. This acceptance and happiness with the simplicity of her life causes you to respect her, but you really do not enjoy her company a great ton. She is just too down and out to excite you. You realize she may be a good thoughtful friend, who can always over you perspective on things. However, she is a bit of a Debbie Downer...but don't worry she is not a Sober Sally, those b****es be the worst.
she would have a slight albeit cute bitterness to her aura. Like she has a decent sized chip on her shoulder, but this by no means drives her to work hard at her profession or party hardy. At the same time, this not a leading to exciting rash actions or being a bit nutty in a fun way, so no fun craziness. At first you think this is a reflection that she is accepting of her nature and well failure in life, but then you realize she's happy with her life despite the fact that it is not that exciting of one; she certainly doesn't get your motor revving. This acceptance and happiness with the simplicity of her life causes you to respect her, but you really do not enjoy her company a great ton. She is just too down and out to excite you. You realize she may be a good thoughtful friend, who can always over you perspective on things. However, she is a bit of a Debbie Downer...but don't worry she is not a Sober Sally, those b****es be the worst.
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