Ms. Dos Equis "Amber Lager"

If this beer were a woman...

she would have skin that resembled dark chocolate thats glistens in the bright sun, where she spends as much of the day as possible. She has full bodied hair with slight curls, speaks with a sexy little Spanish accent that gets your motor revving, and  possesses an aura of sophistication, as she considers herself the most interesting woman in the world. There are attempts at intellectual conversations that fail o so miserably, because she is just worried about sounding o so smart and mature; this makes her seem the complete and utter opposite. She often dresses up to feel better about herself and you spend time in trendy lounge bars around town. At first this makes you feel like you have finally grown up, maybe you have become a sophisticated adult or something...until you realize that she has made you resemble a pompous, posing asshole and she a fake b****. But you always find yourself staying thirsty for more my friends because...well she's hot.