Ms. Boulevard Brewing "80-Acre Hoppy Wheat Beer"

If this beer were a woman...

this sorta women is unique and rare. She has the rugged side that you would expect out of a cowgirl... assuming cowgirls do still exist outside of those old Western movies, which are seemingly no longer made. Somehow she both dotes after you while at the same time holding you accountable for carrying your weight in the relationship and life in general. She's the kind of girl that enjoys a good hay ride on the tractor around Halloween time while at the same time heading out and enjoying a shot of whiskey and maybe even rolling around in the hay if you're lucky. She has a cute girl next door vibe that is exemplified by her playful tomboyish nature demonstrated by her enjoyment in shoving you off the dock into that nearby lake. You enjoy wrestling with her in the dirt and realize you can be both a kid and an adult with her at the same time, making her the perfect blend of childishness and maturity. This allows you to enjoy every stage of life...she is
the type of a women you can begin and end a life with. But although she appreciates hearing that from you, she certainly cannot help herself from giving you a good rib for telling her that.

Mr. Kona "Koko Brown"

If this beer were a man..

...you would meet him on a tropical vacation. He would be native to the area, and given that English is not his first language, he could get away with saying sweet and borderline sappy lines that his American counterparts would never dare to try on you. At the sight of him, your breath would get caught in your chest, sending a tingling through your core. As his leg brushed against yours under the table at dinner, you'd easily become drunk on his alluring nature, quickly throwing your "no sex before love" rule to the wind. Waking up in his perfectly tanned embrace, you wouldn't have a single regret about breaking your own rules (so much so that you'd break them again, twice, before breakfast). At the end of the week, as you prepare to depart and return to the real world, you are sure to steal one lass kiss, passionate enough to make anyone within a one-hundred yard radius b
lush wildly as they are unable to look away. But parting is not such sweet sorrow, as you are not the kind of girl who can tolerate a man doting over you incessantly for more than one romanticized week in the islands at a time.

Mr. 21st Amendment "Brew Free! Or Die IPA"

If this beer were a man...

...he would bring you a beautiful bunch of wildflowers on your first date, because he knows it's the romantic thing to do, but after that, he'd barely remember a gift on your birthday, never mind gifts without occasion. And by the time you discover that the initial bouquet was picked from his mother's garden, you are too entranced by his physical prowess to give a damn. You often find yourself day dreaming about his shoulders, biceps, chest....hell, even his triceps turn you on; and on more than one occasion you've embraced the opportunity to lick them. He can lift and maneuver your body with swiftness and ease, suddenly making you realize that you desire a man strong enough to throw you across the room, but sane enough not to try. He often wakes up much earlier than you in the morning, and you force your eyes to flutter open long enough to watch him pull on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, not wanting to miss a single chance to gaze upon the perfection of his silhouette, knowing that you will have a finite number of opportunities. After all, you are the kind of girl who needs a boy to bring her flowers...